Losing You
by ClaraNatsuki
Summary: Losing someone brings pain, but cheating on them with your ex just takes the cake. She noticed changes in him but never asked him what it was. Until one day she finds out for herself.


**A/N: Hi my Kawaii readers, Tori here as usual. I decided to make this because I have the 'feels' right now and I need to improve everything in my writing even though it ain't that great. But a girl can try right? Ha-ha, I hope you like.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders characters S.E Hinton does. Alexia owns herself and I only own the plot. I don't own the song either, Dead by April does. It's the acoustic version.**

Losing You

* * * *  
 _What I have in me  
In my mind is you  
I would die if we were through  
What I'm feeling now what I'm heading into  
I am lost in pain without you  
So cold, so alone_

I brushed away the new hot tears forming in my eyes, closing, well, more like slamming my front door in anger and sadness then going into my room and lying down. I pressed my back against the door and slid down now the hot tears falling from my eyes. I couldn't believe he would do that to me. My loveable boyfriend of 1 year cheated on me his ex girlfriend Sandy!

Who's he? Well, it's the one and only Sodapop Patrick Curtis. I know..how could he be so cruel when he's so gentle and sweet? I don't know, don't let his good looks and that beautiful smile get you or you **might** be screwed.

I thought she moved away to Florida but I guess she came back realizing she is missing out on the best thing a girl could ever have in her entire teenage life. Like come on, at some point in life you'll find the perfect boy you'd want to spend your entire life with until someone or one of you screws up and ends up leaving. Sad. And I thought we were friends now.

I've known Sodapop since we were little kids. We used to play around the park while our mothers chatted away on the bench looking at us once in a while making sure we didn't get hurt. Back then Soda had his movie star looks, I would tell him sometimes he looks like a boy out of a movie ever girl would fall for if they saw him up close or even from far away.

He never listened until as he grew older girls started to fawn over him trying to go out with him while I stood in the background staring at the crowd of girls getting at him. Sometimes I got jealous because he got all the attention with his pretty looks.

I miss how we just cuddled on his couch and we'd play around as Mickey played in the background and sometimes we would look at the TV and laugh at Donald or whoever was on the tiny screen at the time. We had lots of good memories even Steve or Stevie (as I called him to annoy him) was in most of them 'cause he was my other best-friend I could rely on when I need him but I hanged out with him and Soda at DX. Sometimes I would bring them chocolate cake to enjoy on their break. But right now I feel too tired from the events that occurred a few hours before and well I couldn't help. Now all I can do is pray this is all a dream.

 **~Flashback to eariler~**

I woke up at about 10 am and did my usual girl things. About a week ago I wrote my feelings down on how I felt about my boyfriend Sodapop, I also went to the store and bought him like a photo album that holds all of our memories from when we met until now. I couldn't wait to give it to him for his birthday, him turning 17 and me 16.

I know it wasn't the best of gifts but I had another thing hidden under my bed just for him since he really like the guy so much. I put on my black converse, grabbed a container that help cake in it and out on a jacket. It was pretty cold outside but I could care less plus right now I'm going to visit my boyfriend and best-friend at work.

Upon arriving at DX I saw that Ponyboy and Johnny were there. I entered the store and the little bell above my head rung _'ping'_ was all I heard before I looked around and said 'hey' to them then setting the container on the counter and kissed Soda on the cheek, to be honest with you, he's been acting weird for the past weeks and I don't know what to do. I asked the gang and they didn't know either so I shrugged it off for now. I headed to where Steve and Soda repair cars. "Stevie where you at?" I shouted noticing Steve wasn't in the room. Out of nowhere Steve comes out with grease on his forehead and arms; I bit my lip preventing me from laughing at him. "What do you want squirt?" "Well, I brought cake for you and Soda. I thought maybe you guys can eat it later or something" He smiled showing his two crooked front teeth.

Steve wasn't a hugger but when I got a chance I hugged the life out of him so saying stuff to me for pay back. "Thanks" he said wiping his hands on a dirty towel and walking out. "Wait! You still have car grease on your face!" I shook my head when he didn't listen.

"Hey Alexia come here"

"What?"

I was greeted by chocolate icing all over my nose. "I'm going to kill you Soda" I said grabbing some icing and out some over his face. "See how you like it!" and I also put some on Pony and Johnny's noses before cleaning my finger.

I started telling Pony and Johnny how cute they looked with icing on their noses, almost looking like dogs needing only the tail and ears. Both of them blushed and I laughed softly.

Looking over at Soda, I knew something was wrong; he seemed to distance himself from the group. I really want to know what is up but I tried last time and he just said 'Everything is fine' and he flashed his smile. It wasn't the same as the others; bright, full of life, and real.

I walked over to him and searched his face, "Soda.. Have you been okay lately?" I said, taking his hand and stared. "Yeah, why?" "Oh nothing…you just seemed different but if you say you're okay then okay. I need to go" I said and left go. "Bye guys!" I kissed Soda's cheek, heading towards my destination. What am I supposed to do? I can't make my own boyfriend smile for real unless he's with his friends playing around.

Getting to my house, I started to think I wasn't good enough for him, like I used to be. Maybe he isn't happy with our relationship and wants to break up. Sighing I waited for Steve to come over so we could hang out 'cause he's been super busy lately.

~Time Skip~

A knock was heard on the door, thinking it was Steve I opened it up and saw someone I never expected to be. It was Sandy. To tell the truth she was one of my friends, after she understood me and her ex were dating. Saying I'm better than her but you know we had a conversation and after we became friends. She hugged me to the point where I couldn't breathe. "H-hi S-sandy.." I said out of breath. "Sorry Alexia. I'm excited to see you. My parents let me stay in Oklahoma for a few weeks or so because I told them I was coming to see you plus I spent last week catching up with everyone else. So.. Here I am!" The excitement in her eyes told me she was telling the truth. "Let's catch up," We both sat down, "and fill in on the gossip!"

A knock filled the room as I got done making tea. Opening the door after setting the tea down I saw Steve standing there. "Oh….hey Steve" I knew how Steve didn't really like Sandy after she broke his best-friend heart, so if he knew she was here then I'm screwed so a while. He rubbed his arms, "Can I come in before I freeze out here?" I nodded and sat down nervously.

He over looked the living room and saw Sandy. His face showed fury, today wasn't as happy as I expected it to be so I can't blame Karma for getting me for whatever bad I did. The blue eyed girl shifted nervously in her seat. "Alexia, is it okay if I use your bathroom?" I nodded. She got up hurrying to the small room. "She seems in a hurry to use the bathroom" Steve said. "Well, maybe that look on your face scared, you mad bro?" "I don't really like her after what she did to my best buddy" "Can't really blame her. Speaking for my own kind, girls don't think at some point and do stupid stuff that gets them bad Karma. You dig?" Steve nodded.

I sighed and patted the seat next to me. "Would you like some cake Stevie?" He snapped his head over and growled. He hated being called Stevie. Sometimes he lets it slid when I call him by his nickname but sometimes, he doesn't. "I'll get it myself" He stood up again and headed towards the kitchen.

Sandy came out of the bathroom. "Is he gone?" I shake my head no but I instruct her to sit on the right side of me. "I don't think he'll leave until later when we both go to the Curtis house. Would you like to come with and finally make peace?" Sandy thought for a second before nodding. "I don't want any trouble anymore. I've gone through enough" "Same" we both hugged it out and I went to get some cake for her and I.

~Time Skip~

I knocked on the Curtis Residence, I heard a muffled 'Come in' and I walked in with Steve and Sandy behind me. Well Sandy stayed outside and I motioned her to come in; all the loudness went quiet when she walked inside. I smiled softly and scanned the room with my evil stare. "I told you it wasn't a good idea!" Sandy whispered yelled I grabbed her hand and held it dragging her inside. I sent my 'You better be nice" look to everyone and they nodded slowly. "Good" I said out loud. "What's good?" asked the blonde. "Nothing" I quickly say.

 _All I have is you  
It is all I'm breathing for  
All I need is you  
Now I can't make it through  
All the nights I've prayed  
Must this all be untrue  
I am not prepared to be strong  
I just can't believe  
I'm losing you  
Unprepared to carry on  
I can't see you walk away  
So cold, so alone_

All five boys, Two-Bit, Steve, Dally, Johnny, and Pony were going to the movie house and I'm glad it's Friday because I don't like it when Pony and Darry fight just 'cause it's a school night the poor boy can't go out with his friends (If he considers Steve a friend).

Anyway, I made Sandy talk to Sodapop for a little while I went to get Soda's present from my house. I don't even know why I didn't bring it with me. I'm so dumb. Darry said he'll drive me to my house to get whatever I wanted 'cause he did not want to see me hurt. 8 o'clock is 'too late' to be outside in his book.

On the way we made conversation and I told him about the present I was giving him and Darry told me he would love it since Soda adored me so much. I never did tell him about his kid brother being distance around me, but I really didn't want to tell him also.

After about 20 minutes we got back to the house and it was empty no Soda or Sandy in sight. _That is odd_ I thought to myself and walked quietly towards Pony and Soda's room, I heard soft moans and I was starting to get nervous on what was happening on the other side. I shakily reached my free hand towards the knob and twisted it carefully. What I saw was horrible, my boyfriend well ex boyfriend now was making out with my 'friend'/his ex girlfriend. Half of their clothes scattered on the white carpet, Sandy's back was facing me and both of their eyes closed as they had a kissing session.

I don't know what possessed me but I dropped the photo album and yelled, "How could you Sodapop Curtis!" they both jumped away from each other as they started to put their clothing back on. Soda was loss at words. He walked towards my figure reaching his hand to mine. I swatted it away, "Don't ever touch me!" I turned around and ran in Darry. I sobbed into his chest and held onto him as tightly as possible. His hard eyes looked at Sandy, "Please get out" he said calmly as possible and at the just as she was leaving the rest on the gang came in.

"I can't believe you got us kicked out Dally!" said Ponyboy.

"Yeah, I was abo-" Two-Bit stopped at the scene happening before them. Sandy was long gone now. "Alexia what's wrong?!" they all asked in alert. I backed away from Pony's brother and sniffed. "Nothing is wrong.." I walked out. I heard Steve calling me back, how could I go back? I wiped my tears away but more came out. "Fuck you Sodapop Curtis.." I mumbled.

Someone grabbed my shoulder and I punched them square in the jaw. My anger flared more than before. "Christ Alexia. You should fight with the gang more often" Steve said. "I'm sorry Stevie, I didn't mean to, I thought you were somebody else" I said. The boy reached out and grabbed my chin lifting it up so I would look at him. "What happened back there?" "I don't wanna talk about it" I mumbled. "Please?" He wasn't a guy to beg but he did.

He begged and begged and begged until I snapped. "FINE! Your best-friend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend!" I shouted. I covered my mouth and looked down. "I'm sorry..again" Steve sat me next to a lamp post and side hugged me giving me a kiss on my forehead. "It's okay. I just never thought Soda would do that" "Neither did I.. maybe that's why he's been acting so distant with me for the weeks" I sighed and buried my face into my hands. I don't know what to do know. I hate –dislike- Soda now and all I can do is cry because of him.

"Can you take me home now?" Steve nodded.

 **~End of Flashback~**

A new batch of tears began to sting my eyes. God, I'm such a baby. I should've asked him more on what was bugging him, so I would've known faster, maybe that won't be more painful than how I found out. I wiped the tears away and looked up at my ceiling, little glow in the dark stars sticking on it. I just love how the stars looked at night and when I these things in the store I just had to buy them. Soda and I would watch them when we laid on the grass at the park. It was so beautiful like everything about him.

 _Distant, so far, destiny is selecting me  
I can't be strong, life is disconnecting me  
Now loneliness infecting me  
Gone are the days  
You were there __protecting_ _me  
So cold, so alone_

 _All I have is you  
It is all that I'm breathing for  
All I need is you  
Now I can't make it through  
I am losing you forever  
I am lost in pain without you  
I am leaving ground forever_

All I needed was you but you betrayed me. All I had was you but you I never crossed your mind when you were with her. I don't know what to do like I said before. I never did because you always helped me through whatever I face. My love for you was as real as me jumping off a cliff into the ocean because it was a dare. You were sweet like a peach, gentle as a puppy and loving like a boyfriend should have. Now I can't make it through without you by my side and I hope you understand how much you hurt me tonight. I love you Sodapop Patrick Curtis.

 **Soda's POV**

I watched Alexia walk out of the house tears streaming down her face, I felt really bad for cheating on her. Especially with my ex Sandy! I had my pants on while I was shirtless. Darry looked at me mad as ever for breaking Alexia's heart and everyone was looking at me.

I looked down and saw a photo album with a note sticking out of it. I grabbed it all together walking back into my room in silence as I closed the door behind me with my foot and began reading the note Alexia wrote and here's what it said:

 _"I don't know how to begin this properly so here goes. Hi Sodapop, I wish you a very Happy Birthday and hope you have a very good day or I hope you had a good day, if I gave you this too late in the evening. What I wanted to tell you is that I love you very much ever since the day we met, I thought you were the cutest boy I ever seen in my entire life and all those times you helped me through hard times I blushed at the thought 'cause you were always there for me no matter what. You're the bravest, sweetest, gentle guy besides Stevie (Steve, nice nickname huh?)_ _he has a soft spot for you and I and its pretty awesome, it's just he never shows it_ _. Forget I said that, I don't have an eraser so I crossed it out, hopefully you can't read it. I want to spend the rest of my days with you and I swear I'll be the best girlfriend you'll ever have and I know you'll be the best boyfriend ever. I love you so much Sodapop Curtis." 3_

 _Love Alexia M~_

I put the letter down carefully trying not to crumble it. I slowly opened the photo album and the title read "Our Memories". It had all our memories since we were little, photos of us and sometimes friends in it, I flipped through and saw one with us sharing a chocolate kiss. I smiled to myself I remember that day like it was yesterday. We both sat on the couch watching Mickey Mouse on TV with Two-Bit lounging around the floor. Alexia started to open a Hershey bar and stuck a one of the brown bricks between her lips. I thought it was a perfect opportunity to kiss her so I called her name. "Alexia! Look at me please!" I whined. She ignored me and kept looking at the TV. I kept whining until she turned her head, fury burning in her chocolate eyes.

I kissed her and tasted the Hershey while it melted slowly on our lips. I chewed on my half, swallowing the flavor, _so rich and creamy_ I thought. Her eyes filled now with shock as I pulled away and I heard Two-Bit hollering at us. "You guys make a good couple" Two-Bit said as he laughed. My girlfriend and I blushed and she fed me chocolate the rest of the time.

The smile faded from my lips, my shaky hands reaching for a picture of her in a flower dress last spring, her hands held a Yellow Lily while she smelled it. I took that picture in the meadow I found out about from Ponyboy. I took it out of the plastic covering it and the rest of the photos. I lay down with the picture in my hand; the now dark room only lighting up by the moon shinning outside. So many emotions right now, sadness, anger at myself, betrayal to my loved one. I haven't been broken like this since mom and dad died, but it's my fault, I did this to myself but mostly Alexia. Maybe one day when I have the guts, I'll apologize; even if she doesn't accept it I'll be fine. My eyes lids started to get heavy and I let the darkness consume me, sleeping with shame tonight.

 _All I have is you  
It is all that I'm breathing for  
All I need is you  
Now I can't make it through_

 **A/N: Did you enjoy? If you did please write a review and NO FLAMES! Please! Also, when you review tell me if I should write a sequel to this one, if "Yes" then should it be a song fic like this one. or regular and should Alexia and Sodapop get back together or go out with someone else? (if there is a sequel) Tell me and I'll review it ASAP! Thanks for reading my lovelies!** **Apologies if it ain't that good but I did do my best worked 3 days on it, even got in trouble just doing this but worth it! –Cheers happily-**


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